Some Useful Adulting Lists

Like many millennial, growing up and moving out on my own meant confronting the fact that my parents hadn’t taught me most of what I needed to know to be a functional adult. Which, of course, is why ‘adulting’ became such a thing for many of us. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the day that I confronted my mother about why the hell she expected me to be able to keep an apartment clean when she never taught me to clean anything.

Apparently, she expected me to graduate college and magically get a job that paid enough to higher a cleaning service.

Even before the Recession this was ridiculous.

Anyway, now that my household is in a stable living situation and the worst of health problems are under control, I figured it was time to get a handle on some adulting stuff that had been on my mind for a while. Like having a proper first aid kit for when the kids bang themselves up or the right tools for various household projects (and learning how to use them).

So I put together, using a variety of sources, a few lists. And I’m sharing them here for other folks who aren’t quite sure what they need for a basic kitchen set up or what a good cleaning schedule is.

Household kits check list

Ideal cleaning schedule

Progress Counts: Adulting Version

While there are places you can buy a fully stocked first aid kit or emergency preparedness kit, I’m not saying anyone should do that. And if, like me, keeping the dishes clean is a constant challenge, you shouldn’t immediately try to clean the whole place in schedule every time.

I call it Ideal cleaning schedule for a reason.

Personally, each month that we have the money, I try to grab three more things off of the kit checklists. (I just realized I forgot to put a clean copy together for this post, so if you download the list you’ll see what I’ve got checked off and what I’m still waiting on.)

As far as cleaning, right now I’m working on getting a regular routine for daily and weekly cleaning stuff. Once I have that down, I’ll start integrating monthly and yearly stuffage.

And of course, if you are in a survival situation, maybe don’t open the lists at all. Maybe, as I did, file them and forget them for a while. They’ll be there when you are in a better place.

My Families

Since I’m going to be talking about my family a lot more than previously, it’s probably time I actually lay out who-all is in my family.

I know family life is always complicated, but mine is a bit more complicated than most, having two families-of-origin and a sprawling overlap of chosen family/polyamorous network.

My families of origin probably won’t be showing up that often, if only because (due to various kinds of distance) they just aren’t an active part of my life these days. Which is a sad.

Family of Origin 1

My birth family, including father, mother (recent deceased), 5 siblings, an aunt, a grandfather, a sister-in-law, and a sort-of uncle (my mother’s brother-of-choice) who I tend to forget exists half the time. (Sorry!)

Family of Origin 2

My adoptive family, including father (deceased), mother, brother, assorted aunts, uncles, and cousins, and apparently soon a sister-in-law.

Chosen Family/Polyam Network

Several of these folks will be coming up regularly. Especially in relation to generational household and old ‘woman’, but also sometimes also the farm. Often enough and enough detail that I went around and asked a bunch of them if they were okay being talked about and what name I should use for them.

  1. Michael — nesting partner, father of two of my children, my BDSM submissive & pet (24/7). They/them. Patronus is a demon.
  2. Michon — cuilmate, mother of two of my children, co-dom to Michael, head of family. Ze/hir. Patronus is a dragon.
  3. Dilip Numitor Amalia Chetana Waller — father of two of my children, Michon’s live-in co-parent, still figuring out where he fits in our weirdness. He/him. Told me to come up with a pseudonym for him, so I used my favorite random name generator. Now he’s stuck with it.
  4. C — girlfriend, LDR. She/her. Patronus is a cat.
  5. Ericka — Michael’s girlfriend & BDSM submissive, my friend. She/her. Patronus is probably a cat.
  6. B — sister-of-choice, auntie to two of my kids, mother to a kid of her own. She/her

Other folks who will also get mention from time to time:

  • The five kids Tween, Kid 1, Kid 2, Kidling, and Kidlet. For those who have been following the blog a while, none of these were part of the custody battle I was involved in several years ago. Tween is B’s kid. The others are mine by birth or by choice.
  • Michael’s brother-by-choice (J)
  • J’s mom, whose become mom-by-choice to me and Michael (MB)
  • Ericka’s Nana