Revised and re-posted 10/11/16. My polycule has changed several times over the past few years, and the details of my meal lists have changed as people moved in and out of my life. But I still keep these three lists. Main changes here are fixing grammar and typos.
In a few weeks, my metamour will be coming to visit. She’s allergic to vitamin K. My partner is on a restricted diet due to heartburn. And I keep Kosher. My metamour’s husband is staying home this time, so we don’t need to eat vegetarian.
Yup, polyam meals can get complicated. If you live together, the process can become habit, but sometimes it will still be a hassle. Luckily, there are ways to make life easier.
Polyam Meal Lists
My favorite trick for putting together polyam meals is to keep these three lists. The first two I keep saved on my computer though if you live together it might be easier to post them in the kitchen. The last one I keep in my head.
- Food restrictions – what doesn’t each person eat.
- Food preferences – what does each person like to eat.
- Emergency meals – what can you throw together on the fly that everyone can eat.
Here is an example of my food restrictions list. I combine this with food preferences, and I have a pretty good guideline for planning meals, depending on who is going to be there.
Restrictions list:
My partner –
- tomato-based sauces
- ‘hot’ foods
- broccoli (he just can’t stand it)
My metamour –
- Anything with vitamin K including
- Dark leafy vegetables
- Broccoli
- Asparagus
Me –
- Pork
- Anything that mixes dairy and meat
- Organ meats
- Shellfish
My sister –
- Oregano
- Rosemary
Metamour’s Husband –
- Meat (includes fish)
One time, when my metamour and her husband came down, the ‘vegetarian’ boxed meal I picked up, wasn’t. It was a massive scramble to find something everyone could eat. That’s when I came up with my emergency meals list. It’s 3 meals that everyone I might expect to be at my home can eat and that I can throw together quickly. This way, if a planned meal falls through, I have alternatives.
My emergency meals list is:
- Pasta with light pesto sauce
- Rice balls with corn or another veggie filling
- Grilled cheese sandwiches
These are meals that I reliably have the ingredients for, and can cook practically in my sleep.
I hope somewhere there exists a polyamorous relationship that doesn’t need to jump through hoops to make a meal everyone can enjoy. So far, every polyam family I’ve been in has had multiple food restrictions, often contradictory ones! A bit of thought, planning ahead, and most of all keeping these lists, makes meal time a lot easier, and a lot more enjoyable.
What are you polyam meal tips? Share them in the comments!