Not Sure Where to Start…

So much has happened over the past few weeks, there’s so much I could say or focus on, that I’ve been spinning my wheels not sure where to start.

So…Most of what’s been going on the past month has been centered on family, farm, and me.


The big family thing going on, I really don’t feel like I can talk about. It’s not my thing, it’s big, it’s life-breaking, and it’s the foundation of most of the family. We have plans to deal with it, and no one is in immediate danger. For me, personally, it’s sent my PTSD through the roof and occupied way more of my thought and function than I can afford and still keep up with regular life stuff.

And that’s in addition to…

The start of the school year is probably the hardest part of the year for my household, and the family as a whole.

Honestly, sometimes I wish that school just lasted the whole year, without the summer break.


Because autism.

Somewhere around half our family is is might be autistic, including three+ kids. The transition from summer schedule to school schedule is…. really really rough.
And rougher than usual this year because of this thing mentioned above.
So we’re going into a new school year with a lot of extra stress and problems. Which obviously doesn’t help.

Kid 1, Kidling and I had a nice visit with Nana for most of a week. Nana is struggling even more than I realized with being homebound and just not having anything to fill her time. Later today Michael will be bringing a pile of yarn over so she can start crocheting again (and yes, I will be introducing her to Ravelry!) If anyone has suggestions for things someone in a wheel chair with not much in the way of things (ie, books, games, computer, etc) can do, that would be awesome!

Plans for Boston fam to move down to where my household is have been modified thanks to the big thing, but may end up happening sooner than originally planned, which would be a silver lining to this fiasco.


I’m taking my fourth stab of the year at growing plants from seed. The first attempt failed because the area wasn’t well ventilated and mold started growing in the soil.

The second because executive dysfunction messed with the watering schedule.

The third because after I found a way to water with string irrigation I ran into lighting issues. It turns out having a window on the opposite side of the room from the grow light when you can’t turn the grow light on as soon as the sun comes up can cause some issues.

Unfortunately, the set up I had with the string irrigation wouldn’t fit in any of our windowsills, and we don’t have any place with enough ventilation that wouldn’t cause conflict between the sun and the grow lights.


I picked up a handful of seedling pots (the last Walmart had in their almost-abandoned Garden Center), and tried just placing them right in the window. I started with four marigold seeds. After some fumbling, I found the best way to water them was to put the pots in a small bowl of water for a few minutes. For some reason this is easier to remember and less stress on the executive dysfunction than using a pitcher. Don’t ask me why. But since it’s better for me and better for the plants, I call it a win.

Two of the marigolds sprouted, two didn’t. No idea why, but I went with it. When I was sure the two unsprouted ones weren’t going to make a late appearance (and after we got back from Nana’s), I pulled two seeds for a green apple and planted those. One of them sprouted this morning (you can just barely see it toward the outer edge of the left-most pot). The other… well, we’ll see.

We aren’t allowed to have window boxes here. And besides, it’s going to be getting cold soon! So I’m hoping that once the plants are established, they’ll be alright with the grow light. We’ll see what happens. I may need to rearrange things in the apartment. I’ve got a side table by my desk that is right by one of the south facing windows. The table currently has a printer on it, and the window a heavy curtain (screen glare is a pain). But I may be able to rearrange things to work better…


I’ve picked up my crochet hook again for the first time in a year or more.

In the last week or so I’ve added 10 rows to this, which is close to half the total. I goofed the pattern, using blue instead of black there at the bottom. But I’m thinking of leaving it this way. I’m at the mid-point, and I thank having the pattern reverse in the middle will work well.

Oh, what is it?

When it’s done it’s going to be a cowl. So I can keep my neck warm and my head covered at the same time 😉

I stopped doing crochet because it felt like it was making my anxiety worse–I’ve had a pattern of repetitive motions that I need to think about doing that. The reality, I think, is that they don’t make the anxiety worse so much as create space for the anxiety I’ve buried to come to the surface.

But I’m doing a lot better now, and wanted to try again. Obviously, it’s going well.

I’ve also been making progress at staying in touch with people. Some folks who hadn’t heard from me in too long got phone calls or emails this month, and I think I’ll be able to keep up the pattern. Fingers crossed.

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