Looking Back at APW 2013

Probably should have done this last week, but I came home to a different kind of insanity. Now that things have settled down, I have a chance to take a look back at my weekend in Atlanta.

First off, I want to a major thanks to the APW team for putting that together and having me as a presenter. It was not always an enjoyable weekend (ripping open old wounds rarely is) but it was worthwhile and I am glad I did it.

That said, once I got over the emotional hell that as my presentations, I did enjoy myself. There were some great panels,  lot of interesting discussions and many wonderful people.

I’m hoping to stay in touch with the folks I met, and really hoping to get to know some of the APW crew better. You guys were and are amazing and I can’t thank you enough for how supportive you all were.

Of the panels I participated in, I have to say my favorite was the Real Life Polyamory with Sarah O. and Noel. I think we put a really good talk together and I had a lot of fun doing it. Sarah and Noel were great fun to work with. My solo presentations went well (I think). At least, I’ve had a good response from people who were there. Noel also offered an amazing keynote on STIs. I’m sorry I missed it, but she got a powerful response and from what I heard she said a lot of stuff that has needed to be said for a long time.

We had a humorous (in hindsight) mix up with the book launch. Miscommunications occurred somewhere, and there was nothing in the program about the book being about polyamory and pregnancy, so… a lot of people who showed up were expecting a typical book about polyamory, and a couple people I spoke with around the con would have shown up if they’d known what it was really about!

Such is life.

I spent a fair amount of the weekend in tears – massive emotional overload. Everyone there was understanding and I received some amazing support.

Okay, I’m rambling here, not being as coherent as I’d like, but the whole weekend is kind of a series of snapshots in my memory.

I’m glad I went, and hope to go next year.

Uncharted Love Interview with Dawn Davidson

[Sorry, this post should have gone up yesterday!]

Dawn Davidson of Uncharted Love decided she wanted to interview me about Polyamory and Pregnancy as well as delve into my personal life a bit (What kind of baby gear is my relationship most like? Really Dawn? Where the hell did you come up with that one?!)

You can hear the interview, or read the transcript on Uncharted Love.

Bonus Post: Custody Update and Important Legal Precedent

Hey all

For those of you who have been following my messed up custody situation, the appeal court returned a decision last week returning custody to my children’s father and ruling that polyamory should not have been used as a reason to take the children away because there was no evidence that poly was harming them in any way. (In fact, though the appeal court doesn’t mention it, there was evidence that poly was NOT harming them, since the kids therapist testified that it was not affecting them.)

On a personal level, this is good news – the kids are away from my parents and back with their father, and I will be getting proper visitation over the summers instead of the measly week I got this year.

On a legal level, the court’s decision is being entered in Pennsylvania case law, which means the ruling about poly not being a reason to take the kids is official legal precedent in Pennsylvannia. For a great review of the decision and what it means legally, check out Nancy Polikoff’s write up.

(Originally posted Sept 2012)

People Are Awesome

There is no real reason to bring this post to the new site, but I want to leave it here as a reminder to myself and everyone who sees it that people are indeed awesome. Thank you again to everyone who helped me see my kids in 2012.

Okay, I thought long and hard about doing this, but I am kind of out of other options.

As some of you who have followed me a while may know, in December I lost custody of my children. The judge ruled that because I am polyamorous and poor, my children were better off living with their grandparents.

Shortly after that ruling, my partner and I moved down to Memphis. We stayed in PA as long as we had only because it was required by the old custody situation. We really couldn’t afford the cost of living in PA, and in Memphis we can manage (barely) on my writing income.

Unfortunately, because I ‘chose’ to move away from where my children are now living, I am responsible for all transport for visitation, or they are not able to see me. This summer, I am allowed one week of visitation. It is the first time my children will be with me since December. The last time they will be with me until next summer. If I can afford the cost of transportation.

My best option right now, is to fly East, rent a car for a week, and drive back to Memphis with the kids, then drive back East and fly home. In total, this is going to cost around $1200.

I’ve been trying for months to get it together, but we are really living ‘paycheck to paycheck’ (except that I don’t get paid anywhere near as regular as that implies) and every time I think we are getting ahead another unexpected expense crops up. I am supposed to pick up the kids in two weeks.

Right now I have about $400. My aunt (the wonderful mensch) bought be a round trip ticket for me to fly East and back home. I need another $500 to cover the cost of a rental car and the gas for the trip. I am not, short of winning the lottery, going to get $500 in two weeks, and still pay the rent, buy food and keep the electricity on.

So… I’m asking for help. Below, you’ll see a PayPal donate button. I know times are tough everywhere, and we are not the only people struggling to get by, but if everyone who has been following me on Twitter were to be able to donate $2, I would have more than enough to be able to pay for my kids’ visit. If you have anything to spare right now, please donate, and help me see my children.

(Donation button removed, thank you to everyone who donated)
Thank you to everyone who donates, and to anyone who wants to, but can’t. I’ll keep everyone updated over the next few weeks.