Vehan: Luon’s Bad Week

If you missed it, my nonfic book Safer Sex for the Non-Monogamous is 25% off this week (ebook only, most retailers)

Content notes: violence (mostly offscreen), fictional slavery, angst/emotional whump, not a happy ending

Luon curled up on his pallet with his back to the wall and tried to ignore his many bruises. It had been a week since he’d been taken into service with his first sen, and it had been a nightmare.

It had begun walking in the door, a proper half step behind his new sen, and having the sen whirl around, grab him, and slam him into the wall. Luon had tried to go limp, to accept whatever the sen wanted. But he hadn’t been able to stop his first initial resistance.

Not that the sen had seemed to care. For all his age and lack of obvious muscle, the sen had handled Luon like a child.

But he hadn’t spoken to Luon — not a word. Nothing to say what he had done wrong. Or why the sen was punishing him. (No further punishment for not immediately submitting, either…) No one else in the household had spoken to him either.

In fact, most of the household didn’t talk at all. The sen had a dozen haoza and several wahin serving him; and only the oldest of the haoza spoke, ever, and only to each other.

His introduction to the household had been typical of the week. Not just the sen, but all the other haoza and the wahin hit Luon constantly. Well, no, not constantly. The other young haoza only attacked when their seniors were in the room. Anytime it was just them, they worked together. If the older haoza or wahin or (worse) sen was in the room, then the question wasn’t if he’d get attacked, but when.

The seniors in the sen’s service had a room separate from the younger haoza, so at least he could sleep in peace. (Though the second night he’d been there, the seniors had snuck in during the night and started hitting everyone. Since then, he and the other young haoza had taken turns sitting up and watching each other’s backs. Not the easiest thing to do without being able to talk, but they’d managed it. When the seniors tried to sneak in again last night, they had all been awake and on their feet in an instant. And the seniors had smiled at them, ruffled the hair of the young woman on watch and left the room. It made no sense.)

It wasn’t just him — the other young haoza were attacked too — and while the seniors never fought in front of them, he could sometimes hear them attacking each other in other parts of the house. The attacks always stopped the moment someone fell to the ground — the one time one of the younger haoza hadn’t stopped when Luon had collapsed, the senior haoza in the room had pulled them off of Luon and beaten them. It was the only beating Luon had seen the entire week.

But the seniors didn’t like it if Luon submitted. They would stop, but they would scowl and assign more work. And the other young haoza didn’t submit to each other — they fought. Seriously fought, as Luon and his friends had done as teens running the streets.

It went against everything he had been taught, everything the priests and his parents had drilled into him… but after the first few days of cowering and trying to understand, Luon had started fighting back, too.

The other young haoza knew the household better and were very good at ambushing him. He hadn’t dared attack them yet — didn’t know if he was expected to or why. By the gods, he didn’t even know anyone’s name because (again) no one fucking talked to him. At all. (Even fighting, everyone was silent. It was unnerving.)

But he was getting better at anticipating the ambushes, at redirecting the blows and retaliating. The senior haoza had made their approval clear. Once, one of the wahin had even taken him aside and shown him a better way to punch! It was impossibly confusing…

Also terrifying. Completely terrifying because nothing made sense, and Luon never knew when he would be attacked, and if the attack was a punishment he was meant to submit to or an… whatever this was that he was supposed to fight back. He didn’t know the rules because no one had told him.

It had all been too much for him to handle. And then today happened.

He had been scrubbing the floors, as he did almost every day, and keeping an eye out for the next ambush. He’d actually seen the attack coming, which made it worse. He’d rolled out of the way of the kick and come to his feet, lashing out in the direction of his attacker.

The blow had landed — barely. It might have been hard enough to kill a fly. But it landed. Only then had Luon recognized who had attacked him — as the sen stumbled backward and collapsed to the floor.

Luon immediately prostrated himself, terrified, horrified, knowing that he was at best going to be severely beaten. At worst… haoza had been executed for attacking their sen — usually only for severe attacks, like trying to kill the sen. But it had happened.

Then the sen had popped back to his feet, ruffled Luon’s hair, handed him /a piece of orange candy/, and walked away smiling. The other haoza in the room hadn’t reacted at all. They with their work as if nothing had happened.

So now he was curled up on his pallet. With his back to the wall and his face to the door. Trembling. He didn’t know what was going on or what would happen next. He didn’t know what had happened.

He clenched the candy in his fist, afraid to eat it but afraid of the sen’s anger if he spurned the odd treat (reward? could it be a reward? For what?! It /made no sense!/)

Luon wished for sleep to come so he could stop being afraid and confused. At least for a few hours.

Been a long time since I got a Vehan short done. If you’ve forgotten, Vehan is my just-for-fun bronze age kink thing. Luon, like Henim and Shoneng, will probably be a recurring character. This story was inspired by a silly bit of Justice League x Danny Phantom fanfic on tumblr. I’ll add the link here when I can find it.

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Vehan: Shoneng’s Beginning

Content notes: Fictional slavery

“Your hair…”

Shoneng jumped at the awed murmur and wrapped her arms around herself.

“I’m sorry I just… I love your hair.”

It was hard not to apologize. The priest-trainers had worked with Shoneng for a month to understand that what her parents expected would not be what other sen expected. “Th-thank you, sen.”

Shoneng looked up for a glimpse of the young woman leaning against the railing. She looked to be about Shoneng’s age — of course — with lovely blond hair cut raggedly short and an open, friendly face. Her tunic wasn’t what Shoneng expected from a sen — old and worn, though well cared for. She smiled when she saw Shoneng looking.

Cheeks burning, Shoneng, dropped her eyes.

“How may we serve you, sen?” came a voice from behind Shoneng.

A dozen or more haoza shared the fenced area with Shoneng, though she was the youngest by 12 years or more. They were only one of a half dozen groups of haoza waiting in the temple yard.

Several of the haoza waiting with Shoneng showed signs of old injuries. Limps or crippled arms. She turned and saw the one who spoke was missing an eye… and Shoneng winced as she realized what he had said — what she had failed to say.

“I’m a new sen– obviously–” the young woman replied. “I mean, it’s only new sen allowed here, right?”

“Yes, sen,” the man replied. “This market is only for new sen. You all are allowed to choose one of us to serve you without paying the temple because the gods wish you to all start out with a good chance for success.”

“But not just any haoza, though. I was told… that this market is special?”

The man didn’t respond right away so Shoneng spoke up, eager to show she could be useful. “Yes, sen. My– that is, I was told that all of the haoza here are people the priests think will help you get a good start…” She trailed off, as she realized what she was saying. That was what her parents had told her. Her sen parents, who would die of shame if they knew she was here. But was it true? What did she have to offer? She hadn’t even been haoza a full season.

The man, perhaps recognizing how she felt, put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I don’t… I don’t really know what I need, what would help. The priest, well one of them, told me I should come over here.”

The man bowed, “With your permission, sen, may I introduce my fellow haoza? Perhaps when you know our skills you will have an idea who best will serve you.”

“Oh! Yes, please.”

“As you have seen, the haoza at this market are divided, each group having a specialty. Some are skilled in crafts,” he pointed to a group on the far side, “or household service,” another group, “or trade,” a third. “We here are, if you will forgive the presumption, teachers. Most of us rotate through here every few years, helping a new sen find their feet and get comfortable being sen, making plans, and starting their business or trade. When they are ready they pick out a sen with the specific skills they need and return us to the temple. Though sometimes the gods smile on one of us and a true pair develops.”

The sen clapped her hands and bounced a bit. The movement drew Shoneng’s eyes to her bosom, which filled her tunic and made for more than a fair handful… “I think I am exactly where I need to be!” the sen said. “Tell me about yourselves?”

“I am Oten, and was first haoza to Smith-master Thureng when she was a new sen.” And he went on to name each of the others, who came forward with and bowed or saluted as they were able.

Each introduction made Shoneng more self-conscious. She had been told all her life that only sen could achieve greatness, but these people, as Oten named the sen they had serviced, the work they had done… they had all done great things, served not just their sen, but the gods and city by helping raise their sen up. Everyone had heard of Smith-master Thureng, or Sen Ifowa managed the city’s breweries.

What were they doing here? They should be kept and honored by their sen, or given a high place among the haoza who served the temple and city.

And what was she doing here? What mistake had put here with these? She wanted to sink into the ground.

She couldn’t, of course, and eventually, Oten came around to her. “And you have met the newest of our comrades, Shoneng. She is like yourself, just tested, but,” Shoneng gaped as he winked at her, “I have heard things from the priests and we expect great things from her.”

Shoneng made herself bow but could think of nothing to say. What could the sen think? “I am… nothing special, sen. Oten gives me more praise than I deserve.”

Oten said nothing, though his eyes crinkled. To Shoneng’s surprise, the sen stepped closer. “You’re my age. I’m sure in a few years you’ll have a long list of successes too. But tell me, how could you help me— I mean, how could you help a new sen find her feet?”

“I…” she swallowed. “I don’t…”

From the back of the pen came a curse. One of the other haoza, an older woman with a limp stepped forward. Oten had just named her, but Shoneng had lost track. “Excuse me, sen,” she said with a bow. “I shouldn’t be interrupting, but I’ve been forgetful this morning and have a duty to fulfill.”

The woman reached into her bag — most of the sen had a simple wool sack they carried their personal belongings in. Shoneng was one of the few that didn’t. She pulled out… another sack. And offered it to Shoneng. “Priest Henim said ey missed you this morning and make sure I didn’t let you leave without it.”

“Henim?” Shoneng took the bag and, with a glance at the sen to be sure she didn’t offend, peered in. To some people, it would look like a bundle of sticks and a few pieces of cord, but Shoneng had always loved to weave. “Ey remembered.” She hugged the loom to her — her own loom, that she could take with her anywhere.

“Of course ey did. I helped with Henim’s training. One of the good ones.

“And if you aren’t sure why you are here with us, you might think on anything Henim said because if I know my priests — and I do — ey had a hand in it.”

“Ey…” Shoneng shook her head and looked back at the waiting sen, who had witnessed all this with evident amusement. “Forgive me, sen, Priest Henim did help me after my testing and is very wise, but I don’t know why ey thought I would belong here.” She laughed a little, “I don’t really know how to be haoza, I was raised to be…” shock stopped her words and when she spoke again it was like each word was a boulder she forced from her mouth. “I was raised to be sen.”

“Really?” The sen grinned. “My parents were both haoza serving the city. I’ve never been around sen much. I,” she winked, “was raised to be haoza.”

Shoneng blinked.

The sen looked her over, still smiling. “Come with me.” And she turned and started walking away.

Oten laughed and squeezed Shoneng’s shoulder again. “Good luck, young one. Hopefully, we will not see you again here. But if you do, you are always welcome.

“Now get moving.”

He gave Shoneng a little shove that broke through her shock, and she climbed over the fence to follow. The young sen may not think she knew how to be sen, but clearly, when she knew what she wanted, she didn’t hesitate — or wait.

The sen smiled when Shoneng caught up with her. “I’m so glad you were here.”

“What?” Shoneng asked.

“Oten was nice, and I’m sure the others could have taught me a lot. But they are so intimidating!”

Shoneng surprised herself with a giggle. “They are! But are you sure you want…”

“I’m sure.” The sen reached over and tugged one of Shoneng’s curls. “I think we can learn together.

“And I really like your hair.”

Vehan: Baahang’s Victory

If you missed it, I’m doing Kinktober with Vehan shorts on Tumblr. This one came to me last night, and it doesn’t fit any of the Kinktober prompts, so you get it here. We’ll be seeing more of Baahang and meeting Diama later.

Content notes: references to bullying

For one moment, relief swept through Baahang, strong enough to shake eir knees. Then the secret fear was swept away, and joy filled eir.

Baahang was glowing. Ey knew it. Sen! Ey had hoped but never dared expect. Eir mother was sen, but eir father was wahin and… well, you never knew, did you? It was in the hands of the gods.


Ey held eirself together long enough to thank the testing priest and then ran, giggling to hug eir mother and father.

Eir father hid his disappointment well. Baahang knew that he thought wahin was best and wanted to share his life with eir. But he only hugged eir tightly and whispered congratulations. He knew Baahang had hoped, even if ey had never said anything.

Another priest approached, holding out eir hands palm-up — It was a greeting only given to sen by priests and uncontracted wahin. Giddy, Baahang held out eir hands over the priest’s to clasp them.

“Welcome, Sen Baahang,” the priest said. “I am Priest Henim. It seems you anticipated the gods’ choice. Congratulations on your insight.

“As you know, the temple offers several weeks of training to new sen, but as you have a sen parent, you can train with her.” Priest Henim released Baahang’s hands and guided eir into the temple halls and away from the testing chamber as ey spoke.

“Thank you,” Baahang said, “Can I think about it?”

“Of course. In the meantime, if you have any questions, I am available.”

“I…” Baahang hesitated. Ey needed to know. “Someone I know is also testing today. Could you… could you tell me how he tested? He’d…” Ey swallowed and tried to think of how to say it. “He’d spoken of pairing with me.”

“I can probably do that,” Priest Henim smiled. “Why don’t you wait over there,” ey gestured to one of the small benches lining the hallway, “And I’ll find out if your friend has tested. What is his name?”

Baahang sat on the bench and clenched eir hands on the end. “Diama.” Ey said, swallowing. “His name is Diama.”

Priest Henim’s face shuttered. “Ah.” Ey took a deep breath. “Yes. I have spoken with haoza Diama already.”

“Haoza!” Baahang clapped a hand over eir mouth before eir giggles could escape. “Diama is haoza?”

“Yes.” Priest Henim studied eir a moment. “I think it will not surprise you to learn he was not pleased.”

“He wouldn’t be…” Ey was sen, and Diama was haoza. For a moment, ey was filled with petty delight and a sense of vindication, but… Baahang was sen. That meant something: the gods were trusting eir.

“Priest Henim, I…” The priest watched her calmly with too-knowing eyes. “Priest Henim, I was less than specific when I said Diama spoke of our pairing. He… he taunted me, saying that he would be sen and I was only good for haoza. That he would claim me because… because no one else would have me.”

The priest listened without saying anything.

“He… he is haoza, though. And I am sen.”

“That is true,” the priest said carefully.

“I can claim him.”

Priest Henim shook his head. “I will not let you take a haoza for vengeance. You are responsible to the gods, Sen Baahang.”

“Yes. I mean no– I mean,” Baahang laughed. “I am not such a hero not to think of vengeance, but… we were friends once, priest. We were friends once.

“And I know that he must be scared.”

The priest smiled and offered eir hands again. Baahang, confused, accepted eir clasp and Priest Henim bowed over their joined hands.

“You will be a fine Sen.” Ey smiled. “But you are still human. Allow yourself a few days to enjoy your victory, and we will talk again.”

Vehan: Dominic

I wrote this story around a decade ago, but never knew what to do with it. I kept it with all my other Mason Jar bits and pieces, always hoping to find a place for it or the inspiration to write a sequel or something.

Then I started working on Vehan and suddenly, I had the perfect place for this old friend.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

(This is the last Vehan story I have planned for the moment. There will be more in the future, but not sure when.)

Content notes: fictional slavery, scars, trauma response, violence, blood, abusive society, longer than my usual post

Something attracted me to him the moment I saw him. I’ve always been a sucker for lots of skin and muscle, but normally I go for long dark hair, not short-cut blondes. Not that it mattered, either way. I was looking for a house haoza, not a bed warmer. I like my men to be able to say no.

Perhaps it was his face that drew me. It is so rare to see a haoza’s face. Especially in the market, most keep their heads down, trying to appear docile.

This one, though . . . Like all of them, he knelt on the market’s display platform, raised a few feet off the street so that a potential buyer could examine the merchandise. The one who caught my eye made a point of meeting the eyes of each person who examined him.

I walked right up to him, ignoring the long line of haoza and the short line of purchasers. The dust caught within my sandals was more of an annoyance — and worth more of my attention — than the rabble there.

I wasn’t surprised that he watched me as I approached. What did surprise me was his expression. Not defiance, but curiosity, assessment. I might have spent some time exchanging stares with him, but a few steps away from the platform I saw his scars. They ran from his chest to his shoulders and probably continued down his back. No field lash caused those scars.

I was so intent on the scars that I barely heard his quiet greeting, “Sen, how may I serve?”

I reached out a hand but stopped myself before I touched the scars. On a sailor, I wouldn’t have thought twice about those scars, but this man was no sailor. “Who took a knotted whip to you, haoza?”

The muscles in his shoulders tensed, and his face, when I looked, was tight and pale. “My . . . My former sen.”

“Was he a ship’s captain?” That might explain the use of the whip: they were the usual punishment on a ship.

“No, Sen.”

I debated asking further but settled for lifting an eyebrow. The smart ones recognize the implicit question, the obedient ones answer. Others aren’t worth my time.

This one hesitated, then said, “I . . . I believe she liked my pain, Sen.”

I knew the type. A lash was painful but not disabling with proper use. A many-tailed knotted whip was excruciating and could cripple or kill, which was why most didn’t use it on a haoza. It was said the gods protected their property, and even in Geifo, killing haoza was still illegal. Though the gods hadn’t done a good job protecting this man.

And with his boldness, he was likely to attract another like that. Someone who would enjoy breaking him.

To this day, I don’t know why I did it. I have my own standards, but I’m not usually one to weep over the brutality of the world. People, be they sen or wahin or haoza, either adapt and survive or whither and die. The wise don’t waste time trying to save every stray that crosses their path.

His eyes, I saw, were golden, with flecks of brown, neither defiant nor subservient. Simply . . . accepting.

I paid half again what I had planned for him without even asking about his skills or training.

It was the best purchase I ever made.

On the way home, I stopped to make several more purchases. The bazaar was crowded, as always. Tables, tents, booths, and barrows filled the square. It was packed to bursting with vendors hawking their goods, haoza on errands, mothers with children, carters looking to sell their services… All, it seemed, yelling at the top of their lungs. Halfway through, we passed a blessed pocket of quiet where half a dozen children and a random assortment of their elders sat listening to the market storyteller. No one interfered with one of Granny Ipnol’s stories.

Most of what I bought was foodstuffs for the next few days, things that would keep well in the summer heat. My new haoza was well burdened before I was done, but he did an impressive job carrying the bags and baskets. Ironically, it was the sturdy fabric I picked up to clothe him in that was more than he could juggle. The bolt slid right off his shoulder. He tried to grab it, but it hit the ground, and a dozen people had trampled the cloth before I could retrieve it. When I straightened, I saw a mix of shock and fear on his face. I didn’t bother to try and say anything in that madhouse, just slung the bolt over my shoulder and headed home.

My home is not exactly what I would call ‘modest’, though, for the most part, a single haoza is enough to care for it. And I enjoy a bit of cleaning now and again. Beating rugs can be very soothing. I was poor as sen go, but thrift gets one through times of no money better than money will get one through times of no thrift.

The wall enclosing the house was eight feet tall, of good granite. My mother had replaced the functional gate of my grandfather’s day with a decorative metal archway. The grounds are my pride, with a half dozen gardens blending one into another. In the summer drought season, I sometimes hire a haoza or child to come around once a day and water them. Otherwise, the only hand that touches them is mine.

Once inside, I directed him to the kitchen to put away the food. “When you are done, report to me in my study. It is down the hall from here, the third door on the right.”

“Yes, Sen,” I heard him murmur. There was a strange catch in his voice, but he was moving before I could get a good look at his face.

The haoza, who had not thought of himself as Dominic Bransur in over a decade, followed his new sen’s directions to the kitchen. Dominic Bransur would have died before letting himself be captured and sold as a slave – haoza as they called it on this cursed world. That proud man would not have been able to imagine the horrors the haoza had survived. Some days, the haoza still felt Dominic’s shame and humiliation at the things done to him, the things that he had done. Mostly, he tried to forget Dominic. He tried to survive each day without becoming one more broken wretch like so many haoza at the market.

The haoza was a survivor: it was the only thing left for him to be. Whatever happened, no matter how painful or shaming, he survived.

Whatever this new sen did, he would survive it.

These thoughts carried him through the house and into the kitchen without seeing where he was. The kitchen stopped him cold. It was large enough for a half dozen cooks to work together and had a real oven. The pale brick walls were lined with cabinets. . . And it was empty. No cook, no pot boy, no one to take the packages or tell him where the food should go.

It was a cruel trick. There was no way to tell where everything went, so no matter what he did, he would anger the cook. Even D . . . even before his capture, he had known better than to interfere with the cook’s domain. But if he did not put the food away, he would be punished for disobedience. And that on top of the punishment he would receive for letting the fabric fall in the market. Worse, the sen had picked up the fabric before he had been able to reach it and carried it home herself. . .

He pulled his thoughts back to the present. Fretting over how she would punish him was a waste of time, and got no work done. He set the various packages down and began to open the cabinets.

Sometime later, he returned through the halls of his sen’s home, following the directions to her study. The food had been put away as best he was able. As he walked, he focused within himself, leaving behind all thoughts of that marvelous kitchen. He did his best to sink into the core of himself, to be better able to endure whatever came next.

The door to the sen’s study was open. He hesitated a moment, then walked in, knelt, and prostrated himself on the floor.

In his brief view of the room, the haoza had seen his new sen standing behind a desk. Two windows at her back were open to the light breeze and sun. The floor beneath his face was patterned stone. Lovely to look at, but already digging into his knees . . .

“Oh, for goodness sake, get up!”

He froze, shocked as he hadn’t been in years, then sat back on his heels. It was difficult not to wince as the weight of his body drove his knees and feet into the edges of the stones.

“Stand up! You’re no good to me crippled.”

The exasperation in her voice sounded more like his old nanny than any Sen or Master he’d ever belonged to. He was still wrapping his head around the strangeness of it when he realized he was already on his feet. Belatedly he murmured, “Yes, Sen.”

He focused on the wall behind her, waiting for what would come next. He felt a spark of hope, quickly squashed. Surely if she didn’t want him crippled, his punishment wouldn’t be too severe.

She made a sudden sound, too annoyed to be called a sigh, too drawn out to be called anything else. “Look at me.”

He made himself meet her eyes. It had been easier to do in the market when his fate wasn’t yet in her hands. When he hadn’t failed at the first task she set him. Her eyes were a cool blue, set in a wide face that looked like it smiled often. Not all smiles were good ones. She had brown hair pulled back into a braid that fell across her left shoulder.

She was speaking, he realized, but so softly he had to strain to hear her. “-afraid. Not what I expected from- BLACKSTONE!” The sudden curse made him jump, and he focused on slowing his breathing, listening to his sen, now speaking loud enough he heard her clearly.

“I am a fool. You’re worried about that mess in the market.”

He stared at her, with no idea how to respond, what he was supposed to do or say. . . What did she expect him to be thinking about?

She walked around her desk and came to stand in front of him. “I’ve never whipped a horse for tiring, never beat a dog for losing a scent, and I never have, never will, punish haoza or wahin because I set them a burden they couldn’t carry.”

The haoza felt his knees go weak in relief, and the room spun around him. The ‘priests’ had mouthed things like that, as pious sentiments. But the haoza had long ago realized that the sen of this city believed no such thing. Could this one be different? Did he dare hope?

“When the cloth slipped, you tried to grab it, but your hands were already full. Mine were empty, and I am neither so old nor feeble that I can’t carry a few bolts of cloth for a short distance.”

She smiled, a strangely mischievous expression, “You don’t know how to react to me, do you? Not many do. I’m an eccentric.”

Nothing he had suffered in the last dozen years had prepared him for this. He felt his mouth hanging open slightly and closed it, fearful of giving offense to this strangest of Sens.

Her smile cleared, and her face became solemn. “If nothing else, I give you my word, never will you suffer anything like this-” she gestured to his scars, “in my home or at my hands. Neither whip nor lash will ever mark your skin while you are in my service. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sen.” He pulled his thoughts back under control. He was being foolish. He understood that very well: he understood that a sen’s word meant nothing when given to a haoza, but no haoza with any self-preservation would ever say such a thing. For now, what mattered was that she was not angry with him, that there would be no punishment tonight. “Thank you, Sen. You are kinder than this haoza deserves.”

The sen waved a hand, dismissing his gratitude. “Now, there are several things I need to cover, and there will be a great deal for you to familiarize yourself with. My last haoza, Aram, was growing too old to keep up with the care of this place, and you will be taking over his duties.”

“Yes, Sen.”

“At my request, Aram has retired. You are permitted to visit him if you choose, for two hours every other day to learn from him how he managed my home.” She paused and raised one delicate eyebrow.

Retired? Who ever heard of a haoza who was allowed to retire? But he knew better than to ask the sen. Perhaps this Aram would answer his questions. “Thank you, Sen. With your permission, I would visit him tomorrow after I have learned more about your home and met the others who serve you.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, but I have no other staff. It was only Aram, and it is now only you.”

He felt the blood try to drain from his face and forced his breathing to slow. No others meant the burden of her temper would fall only on him.

“I should have taken the time to learn your skills before finalizing the sale. As it is, any lack in your abilities will need to be rectified. In the meantime, we shall muddle through.”

“I do hold small entertainments on occasion and I have built a reputation on being able to manage with a single haoza what many cannot pull off with a dozen.”

“I understand, Sen,” the haoza replied, “I have served at entertainments similar to what you describe.” And tried very hard to forget what had been required of him at those ‘entertainments’. “I believe I can meet most of your needs, save that I can only cook plain fare, and I do not know how to clean fine fabrics.”

He relaxed slightly as the sen nodded. “Do not go into the gardens without my express permission. If you need something from the kitchen or herb gardens, inform me, and I will see to it.”

She turned away from him to continue the paperwork she had been working on when he entered. He watched her work, not knowing if he should consider himself dismissed or not. Eccentric, she called herself. Well, it was politer than bat-shit crazy. The light from the windows created a halo on her hair.

After a minute, she glanced up, one side of her mouth quirked up in an ironic smile. “In case you didn’t notice, I don’t hold with much formality. You don’t need to stand around waiting for me to dismiss you.”

Well, that answered that question. He bowed, “Yes, Sen,” and turned to leave the room.

“One moment.”

He froze and turned back to face her again. “Yes, Sen?”

“I am Apchinga. You may call me ‘Sen,’ or ‘Sen Apchinga’ Understood?”

“Yes, Sen Apchinga.”

“Good. What was your name?”

He froze. Why did she keep asking these questions, saying these things no one else did? “My . . . my prior sen called my Jesalin.”

Sen Apchinga startled and looked him up and down, “You prior sen was either blind or a sadistic bitch. Combining the scars with that name, I’d say sadistic bitch.” That raised eyebrow invited him to comment.

“She was . . . frequently harsh, Sen Apchinga.”

Sen Apchinga’s other eyebrow rose to join the first. “Harsh.” She shook her head. “She should never have been allowed haoza, and I will speak with the priests on the matter.

“Regardless, I did not ask what your last sen called you, I asked your name.”

The haoza felt a rage and despair he had not known in years. His hands clenched, his eyes burned, “I am a haoza, I have no name… Sen,” he had to force the title out, though it burned his tongue to say it. He went too far. Even this madwoman would punish him severely for his insolence.

The sen blinked at him, nonplussed. Then she shook herself. “Oda,” she ordered, come here, pointing to a spot next to her desk. She wasn’t angry. Even through his own rage that scared him. The calm ones were the most dangerous.

He glanced to the door. “Now, haoza.”

Each step seemed an eternity, one following the next as his vision narrowed until all he could see was the next step, the next step.

A stool sat on the indicated spot. One he was sure had not been there earlier. “Sit.” He sat, facing her, his head level with hers. She watched him, that damn eyebrow demanding.

He said nothing. She would punish him, he knew she would, and he would survive it. She would . . . She would . . .

But she just sat there, watching, waiting, while the rage and fear and confusion built until he could scarcely breathe. “HE’S DEAD!” Without realizing it, he exploded to his feet, the stool clattering behind him. “Dominic Bradsur is dead! He died 12 years ago when he was pushed down the stairs and landed in this God-forsaken world!”

He was shocked to find himself inches from the sen, screaming in her face. His hands . . . Gods help him his hands were clenched around her arms, his fingers clamped so tight that his broken nails had drawn her blood.

He had killed himself.

He backed away, no thought but horror and the need to run. Run before she summoned the guard, before . . . he tripped over the chair, fell back. He tried to stand, couldn’t, couldn’t make his body work.

She rose and came to stand over him, her blood dripping down her arms and forming a small puddle before his eyes. She knelt down next to him. She spoke, but her words made no sense, “Every day we die, Dominic, and every day we are reborn. You survived. There is no shame in that.” He couldn’t imagine what she saw, staring so deeply into his eyes, couldn’t make his mouth work, to beg, to plead. After a moment, she stood, “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

She stood and left, closing the door behind her. He heard the scrape of a key in a lock and knew there was no escape.

He curled up on the merciless floor and allowed himself to weep until darkness swept him away.


Dominic slept through the rest of the day and the entire night. I don’t know if he was that tired or if his spirit was trying to protect him in the only way it could. From his name and words, he was one of those strange travelers who arrived on Vehan from far places ruled by far-off gods. Such folks were known from time to time – my mother’s best friend had been one such who had been named sen at her testing. She said the oddest things at times.

But from Dominic’s words, something had gone badly wrong sometime after his testing. Where had been the priests who should have protected him? What was wrong with the sen who had owned him? Worse even than my grandfather, who had finally been demoted to wahin for his cruelty. The way many of my fellow sen treated their haoza had long bothered me, but this spoke of a massive failure in the temple even.

I would have answers, and sooner rather than later. Though not that night.

The morning sun shines right through the office windows, so it isn’t surprising that he woke early. Actually, on that floor, the surprise was that he slept through the night.

I’ve often wondered what he thought that morning. Waking on that torturous floor to a mug of beer, a pillow under his head, and an open door.

Of course, he wouldn’t have known that every outside door was secured. Whatever other sen might have done, he was my responsibility now.

The next I saw him, I was kneading dough for the day’s bread. Flatbread again since I hadn’t had the energy to make it the night before and let it rise.

He was limping as he came in – I hadn’t been joking about that floor crippling him. My bastard of a grandfather designed it that way. It took time to gather the supplies, but in the following months, the two of us tore up that floor and replaced it.

I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised when he came to me and prostrated himself again. It irritated me. I hate staring at the backs of people’s heads. Not that he had learned that yet.

He said nothing, but I could feel the words – questions, demands, confusion, running rampant in him. I had nothing to say, but he obviously wouldn’t say anything until I did.

“Speak, then.”

His voice was rough and deeper than the day before, “Why, Sen?”

I sighed; I couldn’t help it. I delayed answering by pushing a strand of hair out of my face, smearing flour all over my forehead.

“That’s several questions, isn’t it Dominic?” It was the first time I’d said the strange name aloud. Its edges were sharp on my tongue.

Even with his face to the floor, I saw him flinch at his name. I would need to find him another.

“Yes, Sen.”

The dough fought back against my kneading, demanding my attention. I couldn’t watch it and him at the same time.

“I ask every haoza who enters my service their name. It is an easy way to earn some bit of true loyalty, which is much more useful than simple obedience. Your reaction was . . . unique.”

The dough was ready to bake. I set it aside to take to the neighborhood cookshop. Unlike most, this house had its own oven, but I saw no point in heating it up for just two rounds. The steps to bread are straightforward, the same each day. I covered the dough with a cloth and turned to look at Dominic.

“I took something from you yesterday. Backed you into a corner and took the only thing you had left that belonged to you alone.”

I looked down at him, exasperated and uncertain. “As for why I did not summon the guard, a dog whipped too hard will snap, a horse spurred too hard will buck, and a man pushed too hard will lash out. I don’t blame the dog, or the horse, or the man. I blame the person holding the whip.” Not knowing what else to say, I shrugged and brushed my hands off, scattering flour across the floor. “I could have summoned the guard. I saw no point. You had no intention to harm me, and I doubt you will forget yourself that way again. If only because you have no way to be certain that I will forgive a second attack.”

Tired of looking at the back of his head, I slipped my toes under his chin. Obediently, he lifted his face until he was looking up and meeting my eyes. I saw in his eyes a confusion of anger, fear, and uncertainty, “Do you have anything further to say?”

He spoke, in a quick and servile manner, at utter odds with his expression. “Yes, Sen. Thank you, Sen, for giving me another chance, I never intended you harm, and I know I do not deserve your forgiveness.”

I sighed and turned to the barrel of wash water. “A pretty speech, all the proper words. I think your eyes speak more truth than your mouth at the moment. Let us assume then that all the forms have been observed, pious gratitude, dire threats, so on and so forth, and move on with the day.”

I felt his eyes on my back as I washed my hands. He disappointed me. I had expected more from him, from the haoza who boldly met my gaze in the market yesterday. Who judged me even as I judged him. Foolishness. I knew better. Other cities might be different, but here haoza were the property of the gods in name only and learned to keep their heads down.

“What do you wish of me, Sen?” the low, raw voice surprised me as I dried my hands, continuing before I could respond, “My life depends upon your whim. I am grateful and amazed that you did not call the guard and have me executed last night. But I also know you can still call them today, or the next day, or the next. My life is yours now. And I wish I could hate you for it.” I had to strain to hear his final sentence, a bitter, anguished whisper.

“Stand up.” I kept my back to him while I dried my hands. Behind me, I heard soft scuffing on the floor and nearly stifled groans as he obeyed. “What I wish of you is the truth, no more and no less.” Bracing myself, I turned, facing him, looking into his eyes. He did not flinch or look away. “I am not so foolish as to think you have any reason to trust me, but I hope in time I can give you one.” I was surprised to find I was smiling. “And I am glad you can’t quite manage to hate me.”

He . . . Dominic . . . Drat it the man needed a name . . . Stared at me, clearly not believing, but I could live with that.

“Why don’t you set the table for breakfast? Plates are in the cabinet by the door.”

It only took a few minutes to get a summer breakfast together. The last of yesterday’s bread, a handful of fruit, and a hunk of cheese doesn’t take much preparation. He was quick enough to set the table but had set it for one person. I wanted to tease him but didn’t think either of us could handle it. “Get yourself a plate and come sit.”

The poor man stared at me with his mouth agape.

“Well, go on. The food doesn’t bite, and neither do I.”

Return to:
Henim’s Choice

Henim’s Choice

A knock at the workshop door startled Henim, and ey steadied emself before putting down the crystal pair ey had been tuning. “Yes?”

Ey turned and saw a novice peering around the door frame. “Priest Henim?” the novice asked, wide-eyed.

If the novice was a first year, they might have never seen a proper crystal workshop before. Henim shook eir head. Ey had been a priest for barely a year but still wondered if ey had ever been that young. “Yes, novice?”

“Summons for you, priest. From the testing chamber.”

Of course, it was. With a sigh, Henim started cleaning up eir table. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

After another long look around the workshop, the novice turned and hurried off.

After Henim’s anointing as a priest, ey was assigned to crystal crafting. Ey had been delighted. Henim loved the intricacy and finicky nature of the crystals, the care needed to bring out their full potential.

But Henim had impressed his superiors in his final test. Impressed them greatly. So now they summoned em at least once a week to help with a young adult who refused to accept the results of their testing. Ey didn’t mind helping — was always happy, in fact, when ey could help someone find peace with themselves and their future.

And the people ey helped seemed to appreciate em. Last sunsday ey had received a gift — a woven hanging — from Shoneng, the first woman ey had helped. To Henim’s delight (though not surprise), Shoneng had found a place in service to a sen who valued both Shoneng’s skill as a weaver and mass of curly hair. Just as Henim had promised her she would. Many of the other Henim had helped also kept in touch.

What Henim didn’t like were the constant interruptions. Maybe ey should request a transfer?


In the testing halls, a grumpy senior priest directed Henim to one of the small ‘consultation’ rooms. “Haoza,” the priest said, “And denying it.

“I don’t know why we waste time trying to talk them around. It’s not like their complaints will change anything. Send them to auction and let their sen sort them out.”

Henim wanted to argue–haoza belonged to the gods and should be treasured as such. And it wasn’t only haoza who needed help adjusting after the testing. But Henim didn’t have the rank to challenge a senior priest and ey refused to leave the new haoza waiting in distress because Henim got emself in trouble.

So ey bit eir lip, bowed to the other priest, and entered the small chamber.

Only to stop in surprise. The haoza waiting knelt on one knee, her symbolically bound hands resting lighting on her raised thigh. It was unusual for a haoza who contested their role to kneel at all, never mind with this calm stillness. But that wasn’t what stopped Henim.

It was her eyes. Piercing eyes, even in one so young, that judged and challenged em.

Before Henim could find eir voice, the woman said, “Thank you for coming, priest. I am Osang, and there has been a mistake.”

Her voice wasn’t anywhere near as calm as her face. Henim heard anger, frustration, and a hint of fear.

“I think,” Henim said after a moment, “that you may be right.” Ey moved slowly to sit beside the woman, as ey did for all these… consultations. For the first time meeting with one named haoza, ey had to resist the urge to duck eir head.

Up close, ey could see tear tracks on the woman’s cheeks and reddened eyes. The knuckles on those clasped hands were white.

“Will you sit, Osang, and tell me what you think is wrong?”

The woman blinked and her shoulders hunched, looking for the first time like the scared young woman she must be. But she collected herself and slowly sat down. “I am sen,” she said after a moment. “I don’t know why the crystal said I’m haoza, but I don’t care. I’m not. Crystals aren’t always right!” That last was said with more defiance than conviction.

Henim, too, had been taught that testing crystals could make mistakes. It had made for a great deal of late-night philosophy debates in the temple studies. Did a flawed testing indicate a failing in the testing priest? The crystal itself? The work of the priest who tuned the crystal? A test sent by the gods to keep their followers alert? In the abstract, it was a fascinating, if fruitless, discussion.

In practice, Henim had never seen a failed testing. Had almost been starting to believe they didn’t happen, or only happened impossibly rarely.


“Crystals aren’t always right,” Henim agreed, “And I would say that you aren’t acting like haoza at the moment.”

She looked at him in surprise, distracted from her upset. “What do you mean? I was kneeling. And I tried to be respectful…”

Henim grinned. “For now, let’s say if your second test confirms you are haoza, you will have a lot to learn. But I don’t think that is very likely.” From the moment Henim had entered the room, Osang had tried to take control of the conversation. She’d faltered, and was now letting Henim lead, but that was the inexperience and habit of the young for an ‘elder’. Though Henim was barely a decade older, ey remembered how old the testing priests had looked to em.

Sen, quite probably. Wahin, possibly, but if so a stubborn one who would bow rarely and to few.

Osang blinked at em. “I told you. But the other priest didn’t want to listen.”

“Well, I am not him. I promise you, I will always listen. And you may ask for me in the future if you need a priest. I am Henim.” Ey paused, and she nodded that she heard em. “Now, you will need to wait here a bit longer, but I will arrange for another test and come get you when it is time.”

“Thank you.”

Her voice wobbled a bit, and Henim offered her a hand. “You’ve been very brave. And you’ve handled yourself well.”

She sniffed and wiped at her eyes, then took Henim’s hand. “If I start crying, that doesn’t mean I’m haoza.”

“Sen cry too. Especially young sen who have done a very difficult thing and know they are with someone they can trust.” Henim squeezed her hand and a moment later the young sen was crying on Henim’s shoulder.

Being forced into the wrong role, a life at odds with everything you were… it was horrifying. Many had faced fear in this room, but they had known deep inside themselves that they were truly on the right path. It was the path itself they feared.

For Osang… she truly would have been trapped. That lazy-ass excuse for a priest — senior priest, no less! — would have condemned this woman to that for the rest of her life, because he didn’t want to ‘coddle’ new haoza.

As ey held Osang and soothed her, Henim made a promise to emself. Ey would request a transfer to work full time with those going through testing. If it was in eir power, they would all have whatever help and support they needed.

And one day a certain senior priest would find emself banned from the testing wing and never allowed back.

Return to:
Henim’s Test

Continue to:

Henim’s Test

Decided for now I’ll share Vehan stuff both here and on newsletter as it’s written. If that isn’t working for anyone, let me know. There’s be a few more Vehan posts in the next week or too, as it’s a writerly ‘Ooh-shiny!’ at the moment and I have ideas for several more short pieces like this. No idea what long term post frequency will be.

Content notes: fictional slavery, bondage, hurt/comfort, assault reference, parental abuse reference

The woman was standing with her hands bound to the floor. The length of the rope would have been comfortable if she was kneeling, but she refused to kneel.

Henim had been told the woman became violent after testing, refusing to accept her placement as haoza. Ey understood. Henim had rejected eir placement as well, not realizing it was only a first step on a longer journey. A journey that might end today.

Henim had studied and learned for several years as an initiate of the priesthood. Eir grasp of the magics and crystal manipulation was strong. Now ey faced one last test.

And ey was angry. The woman was needing, hurting. She should be getting real help, not being a test for a novice, no matter how complete eir training.

Still, here they both were. Henim’s test was to help her accept her role as haoza or to determine that retesting was needed — that the crystal used to test her had failed.

Henim approached her, making sure she saw em coming. “Greetings, haoza.”

“Rodents eat your bones!” the woman yelled. “I am not supposed to be here! I am not supposed to be haoza!

“Let me go!”

Stopping out of her reach, Henim shook eir head. “You attacked the priest who did the reading,” ey said. Slowly, ey sat down on the floor.

Ey knew ey had read her right when her face filled with confusion. No longer faced with an authority figure looming over her, she didn’t know how to react.

“Why did you hurt the priest?”

“I… I…” Suddenly she was sobbing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt him. Just… I’m… I’m supposed to be sen.”

Supposed to be, Henim noted. Some haoza wanted to feel trapped. This woman sounded like she already was trapped. “Why are you supposed to be sen?” ey asked.

“My parents are sen,” she said, “I shamed them in front of the whole city. It wasn’t my fault!” she started yelling again. “That priest was wrong!”

Henim’s heart went out to her, but ey didn’t reach for eir yet. While children followed their parent’s role half the time, it was far from guaranteed.

“Your parents shamed themselves, haoza,” ey soothed. “They had no right to push you into any role. You are not ‘supposed’ to be anything but yourself.

“I know you feel it — the urge to submit. You have been submitting to your parents all this time, trying to be the sen they wanted.”

“No,” she jerked back. “No, that’s not true. That’s not what…”

Fear filled her eyes now, instead of anger. “You’re wrong. You have to be wrong. I’m going to be sen! I promised them… I mean… I wanted…”

“What did you want?”

Tears now, trembling in her eyes. Henim clenched eir hands inside eir sleeves.

“I wanted to make them proud.”

Now ey reached out, reached up, and wiped the tears off her cheeks.

“Oh, my poor haoza. It is not your fault. Any parent should be proud of such a daughter. But you are grown now, and it is time to be yourself.

“It is only us here. Your parents will never know what you do. Let go of ‘supposed to’. ”

As ey spoke, the woman’s frantic breathing leveled out. She shifted back and forth a few times. “They’ll be angry.”

“They aren’t here. You have been so good for so long, haoza.” Henim cupped her cheek. She nuzzled into it, seeming unaware of what she was doing. “Show me yourself, beautiful one.”

With a slow sigh, she folded her legs under her and knelt.

“But it’s not just for now, is it?” she asked plaintively. “If I… you want me to go out there. And my parents will know…”

“They don’t ever need to, haoza.” Instead of protesting, she relaxed into the word now, leaning into Henim’s touch. “We can take you straight to your new quarters.”

She started a bit. “All of my things!”

“Were never yours. You knew this. Those things belonged to your parents. Now you will earn your own things. Things no one can take from you.”

“Not even my loom? The woman sighed again and nuzzled his hand. “My mother hated how much I wove…”

Henim chuckled and brought his other hand up to pet her dark curls. “I think I can find you a new loom. I’d like to see your weaving. It must be beautiful. Just like your hair.”

She sniffed and bent toward Henim. “It’s supposed to be sen’s hair. Haoza can’t have long hair. Especially with curls. Too much work.”

“Nonsense,” Henim said, with perhaps too much heat. The woman flinched, and Henim tried to speak more softly. “If you were mine, I’d have you with me all the time, so I could play with your hair. You’d kneel next to me while I worked, with your head in my lap, and I’d do everything one-handed because my other hand would be buried in your curls.” Ey chuckled a bit, acknowledging the double meaning of the words, and ey felt her shiver even as she pressed herself into em.

“Come,” ey urged, “Give yourself to me. Lay your head in my lap and submit. Give in to your desires.”

There was a hesitation. Another little sigh, and, bit by bit, the woman bent down and lay her head in Henim’s lap.

“What is your name?” ey asked after a few minutes stroking her hair.

“Aphshona,” she murmured. Then stiffened. “No.”

Henim’s hand stilled. “No?”

“That’s the name my parents gave me,” she said, “If I’m not keeping anything they gave me — I’m not keeping that.” Then, her voice took on a tinge of hysteria. “They can’t find me–they can’t punish me–if I have a new name.” She lifted her head and looked at em, pleading. “Right?”

Henim leaned over and hugged her. “Ah, beautiful haoza. You make me proud. Be who you want to be, and I promise we will keep you safe from them.”

She was quiet for a few minutes. Breathing, relaxing. “Shoneng. I’m Shoneng. I’ll keep part of that name because they helped to make me. But they don’t get to keep me.”

“No. Beautiful Shoneng, strong haoza. They don’t.”

Henim said nothing further. Only sat with her head in eir lap and fingers tangled in her hair.

At one point, she asked, scared, “I’m in trouble, aren’t I? For hurting the priest?”

Henim didn’t stop stroking her hair. “Only a little trouble.”

She accepted that and said nothing more.

Sometime later, ey stood and released her hands from the floor.

“Come. Let’s get you settled into your new life.”

It was only much later that night when Henim realized that from the moment ey had begun speaking with Shoneng, ey had completely forgotten it was a test. Eventually, ey realized that that was why ey had passed.

But by then, ey didn’t care.

I rather like Henim. We’ll be seeing more of em. Possibly more of Shoneng also.

Bonus Snippet: Tevali’s Trouble

I goofed the newsletter schedule, so everyone gets a bonus post.

I’m starting a new project — I know, I know.

This is going to be a ‘when I feel like, because I want to, not on any schedule thing.’ Basically, a few years ago I made a sword-and-sorcery-meets-kink world and wrote a few pieces for it. I am going to start playing around in it again. Other folks are invited to play around in it too. Some stories will be more sword-and-sorcery, some will be more kink.

Anyway, here’s the first short piece I wrote as an introduction to the world of Vehan.

Tevali watched the last of the caravan disperse. She had already paid off the few wahin who had served under her this trip and packed her bag. The haoza, of course, did not get paid. Sen Heret had paid their owners before the caravan set out. Officially, the merchants and carts were the city’s responsibility now, but she liked to watch, just to be sure.

Not that she could do much if there was trouble, with her weapons peace-bonded within city walls. Still.

When the final cart was out of sight in the city bustle, the wahin turned herself towards Sen Herest’s house to give her report and receive her payment.

And argue, one last time, with Heret herself.


“No!” Tevali saw the haoza kneeling next to Heret wince and caught herself. “No, Heret. The crystals were right, and we were wrong. This is what I was meant to be. Taking a permanent contract with you won’t change that.”

Herest snarled, “I am sen. You will show me respect!”

“And I am wahin, sen. I bow to no one unless I so choose.”

“For five years, you’ve bowed to me happily. And before that, you knelt!”

Tevali sighed, abandoning any hope of salvaging this once-friendship. “For three years, I bowed happily. For two years, only out of remembrance of our friendship. I knelt as a child, not knowing my place in the world or who I was.

“My contract with you is ended, sen. As you will not give over trying to make me the haoza I am not, I will not renew it. Gods guide your steps.”

She turned and walked out, Heret’s scream of rage. At the last moment, she turned and looked back, unsurprised to see Heret about to strike her haoza. Heret’s frequent lashing out in anger was one reason their friendship had failed. “Do it, and I’ll report you to the priests. That haoza is in your care but belongs to the gods.

“You, of all people, should know better.”

She watched, waiting until Heret lowered her arm before she left.


Heret had shorted her pay. Tevali sat in her favorite tavern and glared at the small wallet of copper that should have been a mix of copper and silver.

She had a room in an apartment house, given her by the city as a wahin. She had enough coins to replace and repair her worn equipment and buy food for a week.

The wahin didn’t even consider putting off the repairs. Tevali’s attention to detail had taken her from newling guard to caravan commander in three years. She wasn’t going to slack now.

But that left her only a week to find another contract. If she couldn’t contract with a sen, she would need to take work with the city. Guarding the walls or commanding the haoza who inspected the incoming caravans. For five years or more — the city didn’t take short-term contracts.

She’d go mad trapped in the city for that long.

Nothing went faster for waiting. Tevali finished eating and paid her small tab, then headed out to get started on repairs.

I’m basically going to be adding stories and snippets from Vehan as I write them. No schedule or expectations. But if you want more, than like most writers I can be bribed with likes, comments, and hot beverages.