This one is a hard one for me, but not for the reasons you’d expect.
I just don’t know enough. I mean, there are things about who I am and the way I am that are clearly the result of autism. And then there is stuff that clearly ISN’T the result of autism. And then there is the majority of stuff that I can’t clearly say whether it is related to autism or NOT.
And then there’s the stuff other people tell me is because of autism but I don’t see it.
Like, my cousin’s talking about football and the NFL draft pick for an hour is normal and not autism, but me talking about linguistics and how words are made and languages evolve for an hour is a “symptom” of autism. Why? Because their passions are common and mine are unusual? I don’t get it…
So… there are things about myself I love.
I love my passions. I love my ability to focus down and lose myself in a project. I love how precise and “nitpicky” I can be. I love how schedules and routines are comforting and empowering and motivating all at the same time.
Are these autistic things? Are they related-to-autism-but-not-directly-caused-by-it things? Are these unrelated-to-autism things?
I mean, given how neurotypicals go on about them and how “weird” they are, I guess they must be related to autism some how. Just don’t ask me how.
This post is part of the 30 Days of Autistic Acceptance and Appreciation posting challenge.
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