As some of you know, my next book was supposed to be Safer Sex for the Non-Monogamous and I had planned to release it in November.
Unfortunately/fortunately (take your pick) in the last month or two my view of what safer sex is has changed pretty dramatically. Which means I have a book about safer sex due to publish next month that I don’t think accurately or completely covers safer sex.
Which means I no longer have a book coming out next month. After thinking about it a bit, here’s what I’m doing instead.
For now I’m going forward with the writing for Polyamory and Kink. I’ve already got a lot of the prep work done and the ideal schedule plotted out and such. While the schedule for Safer Sex just got thrown out the window.
While I’m working on Polyamory and Kink I’ll take some time to review what I have so far in Safer Sex for the Non-Monogamous. I’ll be reviewing what needs to be changed, what needs to be added, and generally figuring out what I need to do encompass my new and expanded understanding of safer sex.
When I’m done writing Polyamory and Kink and have sent it out to the editors, I’ll get to work fixing Safer Sex for the Non-Monogamous. With luck, Polyamory and Kink will be released on schedule in Fall of 2018, and the revised and expanded Safer Sex for the Non-Monogamous will be out the year after that.
Why the big change?
The usual view of “safer sex” focuses exclusively on STIs. But “safety” is a much bigger concept than “not getting/managing illness.” A safer sex discussion to be complete should include things like latex allergies, low-strain sex positions (because throwing your back out is the opposite of “safe”), recognizing manipulation, healthy consent, contraception, and other things I’m just beginning to sort out.
When we reduce “safer sex” to “avoiding STIs” we both reinforce stigma against STIs (by acting like STIs are only thing relevant to sexual safety) and fail to address other important safety issues.
In the mean time, check out the Polyamory on Purpose Guides that have already been published.